Engrish, Anyone?

I made a trip into Peoria last night, and stopped at the Asian market for tea and noodles, mostly. I also like wandering the store to see if anything else catches my fancy. (I avoid the freezer section, though. In an Asian market, if you stare too long into the freezer … the freezer stares back into you. Thanks, Kafka.)

I did also spring for some wheat germ powder — not only because I enjoy a sprinkle of it on my oatmeal and in my morning smoothie, but also because I just could not resist the fractured English I found on the cheerful yellow package.

“THE GREAT GENUINE TASTE! Eating is a simple action to human beings. But choosing something to eat becomes a hardest subject for modern people. Not only sale products to customers, but also provide delicious foods to people. Rich in flavors, delicate natural foods expands the outstanding target of new generation for this world. A perfectly balanced of combining delicious and nutritious. We take it for granted that strictly select each raw material and control quality for every single time. Preservatives, pesticide and artificial elements should stay away from kitchens. We concern what you care. We care what you haven’t aware. Take it, enjoy the best moment of lovely world. Be a chief at home easily and freely.”

Isn’t that just wonderful? It’s so earnest — and there are no misspellings! Fractured English, sure, but  hey, they spelled everything right. And it’s just so, so, … they really really want you to enjoy this stuff. “We concern what you care. We care what you haven’t aware.” I don’t even know what they’re trying to say, but gosh, they’re so sincere about it! And I adore the delirious enthusiasm of the last lines: “Take it, enjoy the best moment of lovely world. Be a chief at home easily and freely.”

Easily and freely. Isn’t that something for which we all should strive?

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